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  • The Definition of Irony I have a very distinct memory of being 11 years old and walking to the gas station/mini-mart a mile from my house.  “When I’m a grown up,” I told myself as I walked along the shoulder of the road, “I will get a job and buy all the candy I want.”…

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    The Great Breakdown

    February 14, 2014 | 3 Comments

    A breakage epidemic has been running through my household items.  First to go was the vacuum, then the toaster.  The dishwasher no longer washes anything and soon the staggering, punch drunk computer will throw in the towel. Every event in life holds some lessons for us, I suppose.  Here’s what I should have learned versus…

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      I can’t put any of this in my novel, because no one would believe it.  But here are some snippets of real conversations I’ve had in my life. #1 As my daughter was playing at the park I noticed a man (older, not yet elderly)  pulling a chicken on a skateboard around the sidewalks…

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      I decided I didn’t feel like driving to the gym today, so I scripted for myself a little at-home workout with weights, a jump rope and loud music.   The following is a loose translation of my dogs’ understanding of the home workout situation. Tricep Dips- 15 reps Oh hey, what’s happening?  You’re coming down…

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    As a latecomer to the Abbey I have been indulging in some serious binge-watching.  Night after night of Downton immersion has left me with a few nagging questions.  I assume someone, somewhere knows the answers to these.  (Attention! Spoiler alerts! Do not read this if you are still in the halcyon haze of season 1.)…

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    A Farewell to Tents

    August 27, 2013 | 0 Comments

    If the best part of a certain activity is the termination of aforementioned activity, can one truthfully claim to enjoy partaking in that activity?  I am referring, of course, to camping. Not RVing or backpacking, but ‘roll up in your car, unpack all your crap, and spend the next two days trying to keep dirt…

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    I have lumpy boobs.[1]  There is a reason I am telling you this, I promise.  After a several year lapse I finally went for my yearly gyno appointment and my doctor recommended that I get a mammogram and ultrasound since my breast tissue is so fibrous.  I guess you can go ahead and put that…

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    Pondering Plasma

    May 10, 2013 | 0 Comments

    My daughter’s pre-school shares the street with a blood plasma donation center.  Every day as I shuttle her to and from school there is a parallel to and fro happening at the plasma center.  As the minivans and Mercedes go in and out of the pre-school parking lot, the plasma center’s parking lot fills up…

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    Stage 1: Superstition This is the first stage of the night.  First you recall that night last Tuesday when you got into bed and dropped instantly into a deep and dreamless sleep and awoke the next morning with a stretch and a smile.  You attempt to repeat everything you did that evening.  If you ate…

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    This weekend I found myself embroiled in the true meaning of futility.   ‘Silly woman,’ you might say, ‘Everyone knows the meaning of futility.’  To which I would answer this: You know not what futility is until you are on your way to a meeting and get caught in a giant herd of stoners. Allow me…

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